Some thoughts on grief

 

I mean I am no expert on grief I can only really relate to you my personal experiences and what I have observed from others on their journeys. I say journeys because I am a firm believer that grief is not a linear thing. It's not a check off list where you can just say "okay today is the funeral I cry today and move onto another check box on some grief list." I personally have tried to challenge myself to allow myself to really feel the feelings as they come and practice mindfulness more when the feelings come. I assume I may have lost some of you with the word mindfulness. It's actually one of my personal goals this year to be more mindful when emotions bubble up and notice them for what they are and take the time to sit with them... feel them out and process what that emotion is and why I am feeling it. This is important because no matter what sort of grief you are going through "loss of a job, loss of a loved one etc" you will be on this little personal journey. I have noticed no one grieves the same. Each person has to really take that grief into their heart and process it over time. I try to let people breath in that grief. How we process it will for sure be different some people may never really touch their grief. I tend to have some really strong emotions up front that I have to sort through right away and then over time I will get little thoughts here or there about that person or thing that I have to work through. I will also say I am the type of person that may need help sorting through the grief if it is a mixed emotion situation. A good example of this is that my uncle just passed. I am a transparent person and him and I never had a good relationship. I felt so conflicted all day yesterday because I did  not have the same relationship others had with him it was so complicated and honestly today I am still trying to process him passing and what does that mean for my heart and for me. This is the type of situation where I may reach out and schedule a therapy session or reach out to an online community for support. I use the Sanvello App for mental health support weekly. I want you to take away from my little thoughts here that it is okay to ask for help. It is okay to ask others to sit with you in your grief even if you cannot verbalize what is going on inside. It is also okay to feel other emotions in your grief. I remember laughing at my grandpas funeral and feeling like "OMG-- what is going on you cannot be happy right now." This is such an old idea and out dated. You are allowed to live. You are allowed to be happy. I know that my grandpa Jupe would have loved to see me smiling and thinking of him. 

I hope that in your life when you come to the hard moments that you seek the help you need and know that grief is normal. It is part of life and you are not alone in it. 

Stay safe and be healthy out there-

Emily