What does burnout look like?

 
I am seeing burnout in record levels in those around me and it is concerning. I feel like people are drowning from either COVID-19 fatigue or just life burn out. I am worried as an empath. I try to be supportive and if the individual is open to it I try to give some tips to help but ultimately... you have to take care of yourselves people. We live in a culture where we are seen as a failure if we slow down and take time for ourselves to recharge. It's looked like a luxury if you take a bath or sit and just read a book for the night. Our society really needs to change and I am determined to be a good example to those around me. I want them to see my life and be like "I can do that too I can take the time to recharge." I mean this brings up another thing people throw at me "but you don't have kids so you have plenty of time to do that." 

I am going to be clear here. My journey is not yours and yours is not mine. We do not have to compare our struggles this is not a competition. We need to stop that attitude in our society and instead look over when someone else is struggling in their personal journey and help them up. Regardless if we think their struggles are not as bad as ours. 

I also want to say this-- You have to put the work in. You have to make your self care a priority. 

I will also share some things that work for me with burn out and how I get back to center. 

• Put it on your actual schedule and make the time. Even if it is 5 minutes alone in the morning just drinking coffee and sitting. 
• 
  Find things that work for you. I enjoy the following you may not like any of these ideas but find what works for YOU.  Mediation (Sanvello app and Peloton app), Walking outside, Working out, Reading a book,  Making dinner, Talking to my husband, Watching bad reality TV or even taking a bath. 
• If you are REALLY struggling right now in a moment don't suffer through it. If you can get up--- walk around-- play your favorite song-- do a quick 5 minute mediation-- go make that cup of tea-- self care can be real quick like that to just keep it together when you are burning out. 
• When I am burning the candle at both ends and BURNINGOUT I will often have to set more firm boundaries. I will tell people "I am not in a place to be able to help you right now I need to focus on me." We need to be more willing in this society to set up personal boundaries to protect our own well being. 
• Cancel some plans. It's alright you do not have to do everything. I think COVID-19 taught me that it is okay to say no to things. 
• It's okay to not be okay. I love this saying. Some days are hard and that is fine. We cannot be expected to be happy and perfect all the time. When the days get hard sit in it and feel your way through it. Make sure you look for EAP resources or maybe do a virtual visit with a therapist if it is getting to be too much. I do that as needed myself. But please know you are allowed to have crappy days! 
• Take a break from social media. I mean it. I have a week off in October and I most likely will be stepping away for at least a couple days to just live!

I hope I did not come off as a preacher here. I just want to help people around me because I am seeing people really struggling lately. Please take care of yourselves out there and reach out to me if you want more information on any of the self care things I do. I love sharing ideas. 

Be safe!

-Emily

Stella: Hospice Life & Being Special Needs

 I have had a lot of questions about our 20 year old cat Stella since she is special needs and I have been sharing some of her journey lately. I figured this might be a good time to deep dive into that exact journey. 

• We know Stella is 20 and this is an end of life care plan for her and has been for a long time. We legit call it hospice care like if she was a human. We always have a goal of giving her the best life we can with her illness's and we know that there is no cure for what she has. Ryan and I have had lengthy conversations on this topic and we agree that once her bad days start to heavily outweigh the good then it will be time for her to go over the rainbow bridge and be put down. We are under no rose colored glasses thinking she will live forever. In fact I cannot believe she has lived this long! 
• Stella has always been sickly. ALWAYS. When we picked her up at 5.5 years old she had barely any fur and was not eating. She has lived most of her life with on and off random issues. The biggest health problem she has is kidney disease. We are unsure how long she has had this disease but her phosphorus numbers are alarmingly high since the last time we bought her in for this last year. This causes issues with eating, going to the bathroom and sometimes pain for her. 
• I want you to know that we are blessed. We have the means to take care of a special needs cat with bills running into the hundreds. We took her on and knew what we were getting into. It's why I am so passionate about Safe Haven and want people to donate to them for my birthday. I know the dedication of my time (no vacations without her), money and frustration (sanity) that it takes to give your all to taking care of a special needs animal. It is around the clock care there are no off days. 
• I mean I want to take some time here to go over what we are currently doing for her treatment but it is ever evolving. It involves special medicated food to bring down her phosphorus levels, gravy meant for cats with kidney disease (yes gravy for cats!), antibiotic shots (she may need 2), meal stimulant's that you rub in her ear and you cannot pet her for 2 hours after,  a phosphorus binder I had to order off of amazon and miralax mixed with milk. It's a lot... we make it work and I hope it will help within the next week.  
• I know that some people read all this and think "why don't you put her down already she is 20?!" Listen... As a special needs human I think every life deserves a chance to live a happy life. If at 5.5 years old we would not have adopted Stella I assume they would have put her down she looked homeless with all that fur missing. Everyone in this world deserves to be loved and cared for. She is the most gentle/sweet soul and I know I don't regret any of the time or money over the years I have spend on caring for her. I am sure Ryan would agree. 

Here are some of her cute pictures for you to enjoy. 

Can you tell she loves her basket in her old age? 

Be safe out there!

Emily