Tinker & Belle

 It has been a while since we had any animals in our home. When our 20 year old cat passed away in September we knew we needed some time without pets. Last week Ryan's (my husband) coworker shared a post about 2 bonded sisters needing a home.  Below is the post that was shared with us. 

Ryan saw this photo and said something about their little eyes made him feel like we had to meet them. I was shocked because he wanted to go all summer no pets. I love animals though and I was onboard to meet them right away. We went on last Thursday and I swear for me it was love at first site. See some photos from that meet and greet below. 

The above photos are of Tinker. She is more outgoing than her sister. In fact we were told that Belle barely ever came out and was really scared. Here is the back story on the girls to put their lives in context. They came from a hoarder home where their previous owner had passed away. They did not really come out to greet people at the Brewester's Place ever. My heart went out to them because I knew my home would be the perfect fit. We have no children and our house is huge so they would have plenty of quiet and space. We took them home last Sunday. See some photos below of that pick up. Tinker was easy to catch. Belle was a challenge to say the least. 

Once home they got put in their "kitty room" yes they have a room they only have to share with my spin bike all to themselves. They slept for like 6-7 hours and then they wanted to explore. Here are some photos from the last couple days with the girls. They are bonding with us now and even though they are skittish they are warming up to their new home. 

Things they love: Cat nip, the mouse toys, snuggles on their terms, the laser pointer toy and sleeping in tiny spaces they can hide like behind the dryer. 

Belle. 

Tinker and Ryan BFF for life.

Tinker and her whale marking.

Tinker loves to snuggle. 

How do you tell them apart since they are twins? 

Tinker: She has a front brown leg, a white shape on her back that looks like a little whale, has white that goes up towards her eye. When she talks her little mew is deep. 

Belle: Is very dark in coloring. Has a black stripe straight down her back, has "cat bangs" with the white and black on her face,  is more shy, when she talks her mew is really high pitched. 

We are so in love with these little sweet babies. More to come I am sure. 

Until next time~ Emily 

2022- It's April!

 Yes. Here we are April. It's still snowing out. It is not yet Spring just yet. The flowers in my garden are fighting for it popping up regardless on the temperature like angry warriors showing up to the battle they cannot currently win. How has your 2022 been so far? There is a lot going on. I am working on myself more than ever. I am trying to find my footing in a world where I work back in the office full time and still fit in fitness in my life. On top of all of that juggling of work life balance I am trying to slowly do things with people outside of my home. 

My life often feels like the below picture lately. 

I think it is easy to get overwhelmed trying to find a new balance. I also think it is going to be different for each person. I got a promotion to business manager in January and trying to get the feel for what that looks like for me is a transition as well. I find some days I really have to fight to keep myself mentally/physically on the same page. 

I hope with the warmer weather (when it shows up) I can get back to some of my favorite outdoor hobbies that bring me joy. 

You may also have noticed I don't post as much on here (sept 2021? what!) or on social media that much. I am stepping back a little for my mental health and living in the moments a lot more. I took zero pictures at the wild life sanctuary or any family get togethers this weekend for example. 

I hope you are doing okay. I will leave you with my favorite Miranda Lambert quote lately....

"Well, I'm a giver Yeah, and I'm still giving 'em hell" 

Until next time-

Emily

What does burnout look like?

 
I am seeing burnout in record levels in those around me and it is concerning. I feel like people are drowning from either COVID-19 fatigue or just life burn out. I am worried as an empath. I try to be supportive and if the individual is open to it I try to give some tips to help but ultimately... you have to take care of yourselves people. We live in a culture where we are seen as a failure if we slow down and take time for ourselves to recharge. It's looked like a luxury if you take a bath or sit and just read a book for the night. Our society really needs to change and I am determined to be a good example to those around me. I want them to see my life and be like "I can do that too I can take the time to recharge." I mean this brings up another thing people throw at me "but you don't have kids so you have plenty of time to do that." 

I am going to be clear here. My journey is not yours and yours is not mine. We do not have to compare our struggles this is not a competition. We need to stop that attitude in our society and instead look over when someone else is struggling in their personal journey and help them up. Regardless if we think their struggles are not as bad as ours. 

I also want to say this-- You have to put the work in. You have to make your self care a priority. 

I will also share some things that work for me with burn out and how I get back to center. 

• Put it on your actual schedule and make the time. Even if it is 5 minutes alone in the morning just drinking coffee and sitting. 
• 
  Find things that work for you. I enjoy the following you may not like any of these ideas but find what works for YOU.  Mediation (Sanvello app and Peloton app), Walking outside, Working out, Reading a book,  Making dinner, Talking to my husband, Watching bad reality TV or even taking a bath. 
• If you are REALLY struggling right now in a moment don't suffer through it. If you can get up--- walk around-- play your favorite song-- do a quick 5 minute mediation-- go make that cup of tea-- self care can be real quick like that to just keep it together when you are burning out. 
• When I am burning the candle at both ends and BURNINGOUT I will often have to set more firm boundaries. I will tell people "I am not in a place to be able to help you right now I need to focus on me." We need to be more willing in this society to set up personal boundaries to protect our own well being. 
• Cancel some plans. It's alright you do not have to do everything. I think COVID-19 taught me that it is okay to say no to things. 
• It's okay to not be okay. I love this saying. Some days are hard and that is fine. We cannot be expected to be happy and perfect all the time. When the days get hard sit in it and feel your way through it. Make sure you look for EAP resources or maybe do a virtual visit with a therapist if it is getting to be too much. I do that as needed myself. But please know you are allowed to have crappy days! 
• Take a break from social media. I mean it. I have a week off in October and I most likely will be stepping away for at least a couple days to just live!

I hope I did not come off as a preacher here. I just want to help people around me because I am seeing people really struggling lately. Please take care of yourselves out there and reach out to me if you want more information on any of the self care things I do. I love sharing ideas. 

Be safe!

-Emily

Stella: Hospice Life & Being Special Needs

 I have had a lot of questions about our 20 year old cat Stella since she is special needs and I have been sharing some of her journey lately. I figured this might be a good time to deep dive into that exact journey. 

• We know Stella is 20 and this is an end of life care plan for her and has been for a long time. We legit call it hospice care like if she was a human. We always have a goal of giving her the best life we can with her illness's and we know that there is no cure for what she has. Ryan and I have had lengthy conversations on this topic and we agree that once her bad days start to heavily outweigh the good then it will be time for her to go over the rainbow bridge and be put down. We are under no rose colored glasses thinking she will live forever. In fact I cannot believe she has lived this long! 
• Stella has always been sickly. ALWAYS. When we picked her up at 5.5 years old she had barely any fur and was not eating. She has lived most of her life with on and off random issues. The biggest health problem she has is kidney disease. We are unsure how long she has had this disease but her phosphorus numbers are alarmingly high since the last time we bought her in for this last year. This causes issues with eating, going to the bathroom and sometimes pain for her. 
• I want you to know that we are blessed. We have the means to take care of a special needs cat with bills running into the hundreds. We took her on and knew what we were getting into. It's why I am so passionate about Safe Haven and want people to donate to them for my birthday. I know the dedication of my time (no vacations without her), money and frustration (sanity) that it takes to give your all to taking care of a special needs animal. It is around the clock care there are no off days. 
• I mean I want to take some time here to go over what we are currently doing for her treatment but it is ever evolving. It involves special medicated food to bring down her phosphorus levels, gravy meant for cats with kidney disease (yes gravy for cats!), antibiotic shots (she may need 2), meal stimulant's that you rub in her ear and you cannot pet her for 2 hours after,  a phosphorus binder I had to order off of amazon and miralax mixed with milk. It's a lot... we make it work and I hope it will help within the next week.  
• I know that some people read all this and think "why don't you put her down already she is 20?!" Listen... As a special needs human I think every life deserves a chance to live a happy life. If at 5.5 years old we would not have adopted Stella I assume they would have put her down she looked homeless with all that fur missing. Everyone in this world deserves to be loved and cared for. She is the most gentle/sweet soul and I know I don't regret any of the time or money over the years I have spend on caring for her. I am sure Ryan would agree. 

Here are some of her cute pictures for you to enjoy. 

Can you tell she loves her basket in her old age? 

Be safe out there!

Emily 

Mountain Biking August 2021

 

Do you ever later in life start a hobby or something and you think to yourself "man younger me would never do this!?" That is exactly how I look at mountain biking. I got into this last year with my fat tire and I enjoyed it so much. I knew with a normal bike my back would not tolerate down hill, rocks or tree roots it was not even an option. I mean I even broke my tail bone riding last year.... OR so I thought.... 

I never even knew there were different types of bikes guys. Like when I bought my first REAL bike that was like not from Walmart and cute I just wanted something to trail ride. Nothing crazy. So I got this bike which at the time I had no idea was called a hybrid bike. 

Blue my first bike.

So let's talk about it. What the heck is a hybrid bike? There are a lot of bike types and currently I have 3 of them. ha-- anyway a hybrid is not something for mountain biking and also not a road bike for riding on the road. It sort of is a multi-purpose bike but honestly it does not really do anything really well. It cruises nice yes but does not have the speed for riding on the road fast. It also is NOT good at mountain biking unless you want to destroy your back. It was a good beginner bike. 

Last year for Christmas I got a fat tire bike and it changed my life. I love hiking and I love being in the woods. Being able to be in the woods and bike was like mixing my two favorite hobbies. Single track riding on a bike is heaven. I never sweat like I do on a bike. It is an amazing full body work out. The only issue is my fat tire bike is a tank and it does cushion my back but not enough on hard ground. Here is my fat tire which I love riding in the winter. It does awesome in the snow!

Ru (named after Ru Paul) my fat tire!

As you can see my fat tire is a heavy bike and it is not meant for being agile by any means. So recently Ryan and I had some talks about me possibly getting an actual mountain bike. We had been wavering if I needed a full suspension bike (shocks on the front AND back) or what is called a hard tail with only front suspension. I had no idea what any of this meant last week when I was shopping for bikes by the way I learned a lot in a short time. We saw a Rocky Mountain bike for sale on market place and after much research we snagged this full suspension bike up. Full suspension bikes are EXPENSIVE so that was a big investment in my biking. I rode this bike on Saturday and I had a blast. Struggled on hills so we are going to see about adding a gear to help with that and maybe change up the tightness of the suspension as needed. Ryan wanted to try a hard tail out on Sunday so we rented two in door county. My POOR BACK! I need full suspension. Even if I cannot get the gearing right and need to walk my bike up some hills anything is better than that hard tail ruining my back. 

Rocky the newest bike to me (full suspension) mountain bike. 

So here we are I sit here with a sore back and bum but well on my way to looking like I belong on the trails out there. I cannot wait to go for another ride really soon and continue to share these rides with Ryan. I am happy we both love biking so much. Onto looking for a good bike for Ryan next!

Hints:

Get the padded shorts. 

Having plenty of water is a must. 

If your bike does not have metal studded pedals get some. Game changer. 

Until next time~

Emily 

Some thoughts on grief

 

I mean I am no expert on grief I can only really relate to you my personal experiences and what I have observed from others on their journeys. I say journeys because I am a firm believer that grief is not a linear thing. It's not a check off list where you can just say "okay today is the funeral I cry today and move onto another check box on some grief list." I personally have tried to challenge myself to allow myself to really feel the feelings as they come and practice mindfulness more when the feelings come. I assume I may have lost some of you with the word mindfulness. It's actually one of my personal goals this year to be more mindful when emotions bubble up and notice them for what they are and take the time to sit with them... feel them out and process what that emotion is and why I am feeling it. This is important because no matter what sort of grief you are going through "loss of a job, loss of a loved one etc" you will be on this little personal journey. I have noticed no one grieves the same. Each person has to really take that grief into their heart and process it over time. I try to let people breath in that grief. How we process it will for sure be different some people may never really touch their grief. I tend to have some really strong emotions up front that I have to sort through right away and then over time I will get little thoughts here or there about that person or thing that I have to work through. I will also say I am the type of person that may need help sorting through the grief if it is a mixed emotion situation. A good example of this is that my uncle just passed. I am a transparent person and him and I never had a good relationship. I felt so conflicted all day yesterday because I did  not have the same relationship others had with him it was so complicated and honestly today I am still trying to process him passing and what does that mean for my heart and for me. This is the type of situation where I may reach out and schedule a therapy session or reach out to an online community for support. I use the Sanvello App for mental health support weekly. I want you to take away from my little thoughts here that it is okay to ask for help. It is okay to ask others to sit with you in your grief even if you cannot verbalize what is going on inside. It is also okay to feel other emotions in your grief. I remember laughing at my grandpas funeral and feeling like "OMG-- what is going on you cannot be happy right now." This is such an old idea and out dated. You are allowed to live. You are allowed to be happy. I know that my grandpa Jupe would have loved to see me smiling and thinking of him. 

I hope that in your life when you come to the hard moments that you seek the help you need and know that grief is normal. It is part of life and you are not alone in it. 

Stay safe and be healthy out there-

Emily 

Foo Fighters Appreciation Post

 

I mean at this point I would think people would start to understand my undying love for not only all things Foo Fighters but Dave Grohl (lead singer). I wanted to just type up some of my thoughts in a post to sort of focus in on my thoughts on this band. I really struggled throughout my entire life with mental health and something about the music specifically during COVID-19 isolation helped me get through and cling onto hope at times. I think I am so drawn to this band because their lyrics and the music fuse so well together. Some of their music is hard and almost metal like but other albums like Skin and Bones are soft and smooth. No matter what mood you are in you can find a song or vibe in their collection of albums (and there are 26 years worth) to listen to. I have actually been listening to their albums in order the past couple days to prepare myself for my 5th time seeing them in concert this Friday. It's not just music they have documentaries they have done and music specials like the one time they wrote an entire album exploring certain cities in the US. 

I am going to now share with you my favorite song and no... it is not Everlong. I make that joke because that is the most popular of their songs that they pretty much have to play at every concert forever till they die. My favorite song comes from the album "Skin and Bones" 2006 release. The song which is the same name as the album Skin and Bones is the pinnacle of what I adore in their song writing with a smooth lyric but awesome and unexpected music.  NOW what you really want to know.. Is there a song you just cannot listen to? Yes. Yes there is and it is the song White Limo from the "Wasting Light" album 2011 release. I cannot do it. I have tried to like it and I just dislike it. I openly admit I skip it any time it comes on. It's too much just yelling for me it gets into like screaming metal territory for me. 

What was the most surprising thing when you first saw them in concert? This is a great question someone asked me recently so I thought I would share this nugget of info here. Their concerts are 3 hours long. I am not joking. It is intense. This is a marathon concert where you better not have to work the next day because you cannot talk, you cannot walk... you just need to lay down. This is because if you are a super fan like me you know every... single... song. You sing along while the music is pulsing through your veins. You cling and dance to those around you. I assume this time I see them I may sob through half the damn concert. If they play These Days also from the "Wasting Light" album 2011 which was my COVID-19 survival jam I will for sure being crying in a puddle. 

Here are some fun photos from past concerts: 

Yes. This stage in Madison WI tilted and moved. These were the closest tickets we ever had. 

Dave!

I have forcefully made my friends love Foo! I mean it is not hard the music is so dang good. Cannot wait to see them all again this Friday. We will miss you Alyssa take care of that adorable Owen of yours. 

Ryan and I. He has been to every show with me!

I am really excited for this Friday if you cannot tell. I am sure it will be another show for my memories and the record books. Concert #5 here I come!

Stay safe and healthy-

Emily